I am just too ugly for marriage

People at my age and (geographical) position deal with countless situations, conversations and discussions resulting from or due to the process called marriage. Now my position on marriage happens to be an I-don’t which is, not surprisingly, an unacceptable position. My friend asked me what I plan to do when the “society” questions me about my marital status when I am 28 and older. When I said that it’s none of “society’s” fucking business then my dear friend presented me with countless real life scenarios in which people have been pressurized into marriage due to the “society’s” relentless and insensitive efforts to make everyone follow the status quo. And then during our conversation I came up with some answers.
The list of sentences below are all completely acceptable answers to “Why are you still unmarried beta…..you are getting so old?”
1. Aunty I am a Manglik.
2. Ab kya kahoon aunty……. I am too ugly.
3. I have too many tattoos…..all low belt
4. Gay marriage is still illegal. I am gayish.
5. I have rapist tendencies….
6. I like little boys.
7. I smoke too much pot. Got any? Want some?
8. I would aunty, but the re-virginization surgery costs a bitch.
9. I had pledged that I will fuck 50 ppl before I get married. I am still looking for 49 – Courtesy: One of My good friends
10. Go Fuck Yourself!
Haha what wud your reply be?