Girlies

I am almost a girly girl. Almost not into sports, don’t care a damn’s worth about the latest cars or phones or whatever the boys want these days. I would almost always prefer anything over beer and I drink diet soda. One of the main things that bother me about a rainy day is that my hair will get frizzy. I own more shoes than I own socks or underwear and I pack at least 5 pairs when I am travelling for more than 5 days. I would rather go tanning than bowling, and I have spent countless hours online window- shopping for hand-me-down fashion and vintage thrift stores. Needless to say, I can’t wait for the new Sex and the City movie.

Girly girls should not be confused with the sophisticated girls, the Joan Holloways from Mad Men, the Bree Van De Kamps from Desperate Housewives. They are the adorable nice girls, who may do all the things us girly girls do but who could also wear white without worrying about spilling something on it, who wouldn’t trip on flat surfaces and who couldn’t sneeze without a hand kerchief to save their lives. The neat-freaks who always do the cleaning with gloves on; the prim and proper girls who would never have anything stuck in between their teeth.

I wish I was that girl but I know how much fun it is doing the goofiest of things. We can make you laugh at our incompetence with operating the jukebox when completely sober and with our loud renditions of cheesy love songs when not. We are fun, we are cute.  You know you love us Girly Girls. <3

Quarter Done

I guess we all like to think that we are unique in some way. So did I. And there was very good reason for it. Although I could associate myself with a number of pre-existing groups or schools of thought – I couldn’t fully identify with any of those – the atheists, the liberals, the fashionistas, the smokers, the vegans, the junkies, the philosophers, the swearers, the students, the scorpions, the borings etc. There was always something that made me not belong and I decided I must be special and unique. This was until I googled “quarter-life crisis” and clicked on the Wikipedia link result.

Now we all know how reliable Wikipedia is – but let me just humor myself here. Never have I found the description of something so agreeable to my own description. The page listed 18 charecteristics of people going through a quarter-life crisis. Honestly, it is a very badly written page. The list is repetitive and vague. But what the hell.

So according to Wikipedia, “Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include”

1. Realizing that the pursuits of one’s peers are useless – Check. All of you all who think you know what you want. You are WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

2. Confronting their own mortality – Check. I think the writer meant to write morality. But in any case, Yes. Challenging, questioning, humoring death is my favourite pastime these days

3. Watching time slowly take its toll on their parents, only to realize they are next – Check. Oh ya.

4. Insecurity regarding the fact that their actions are meaningless – Check. Well, insecurity is kind of an understatement.

5. Insecurity concerning ability to love themselves, let alone another person – Check. Define and prove LOVE. Prove it.

6. Insecurity regarding present accomplishments – Check. Hehe insecurity……..

7. Re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships – Check

8. Lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy – mmmm Well I get the point. Mmmm lets say Check.

9. Disappointment with one’s job – CHECK.

10. Nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life – Check. Would love to go back and undo all my gazillion bad career decisions.

11. Tendency to hold stronger opinions – Check. If only my ambitions were as strong.

12. Boredom with social interactions – Check. I drink at home. Alone, often and I prefer that.

13. Loss of closeness to high school and college friends – Check.

14. Financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipated high cost of living, etc.) – Oh ya Check.

15. Loneliness, depression and suicide – Check

16. Desire to have children – Yes. Check.

17. A sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you – Well they are. Check.

18. Frustration with social skills – Well, Check I guess.

18 checks. Whoa! Finally I belong somewhere.

Don’t be a douchebag

This world is pretty fucked up. Even the happy ones realize that these days. What, with so many people having access to the real stranger than fiction shit happening all around this blessed planet. Wacky people! People who rape babies, people who dig out corpses to fuck them, people who get 10 plastic surgeries in a day, people who want to marry Rakhi Sawant, Shiv Sena……… Weird shit!  But among the weirdest dickwads on the planet are the people who make or watch child pornography.

Nothing peeves me off more than the driedoffcum-eaters who capitalize on the general assholeness of the human race. Child pornography aims to make money out of people who enjoy watching children as young as 4 or 5 engage in sexual acts Psht. I don’t even have words to describe what I think of child pornographers. I really cannot top “driedoffcum-eaters”.

Now you all probably know why it is wrong to force young children to do sexual things and make a video of it, and also know why it is wrong to watch that stuff. But let me just reemphasize the importance of not watching “kiddie porn”, even just for the kicks. These children are, way more often than not, abused and physically tortured. They don’t get paid or compensated in any way unlike the other legal pornstars. A lot of kids are kidnapped for the purpose of making these videos and a lot of them are then abandoned, starved or murdered. And all that for only a small group of psychologically weird freaks and a more idiotic group of uninformed douchebags who think child porn is just like the other random weird shit on the internet.

Please, dont be a douchebag.

http://www.antichildporn.org/

Finally, something made me write

I am a woman, a lady if you please. I am of the fairer sex, weaker sometimes. I am the apple, yes the “original” apple of all fruits, of my father’s eye. I am supposedly going to be behind a successful man. I value emotions over reasoning, because for some reason they cannot be in one place. Oh and I am not ugly, I am just lazy.

I am not a feminist. So when I read about one of the first Indian TV show that talked about female empowerment – Udaan – I took it differently than a lot of other women would. It is the story of a girl who gets through multiple solid, visible obstacles to become a police officer and gets a respectable position in a society. A police officer? A damn cop. Which woman really wants to become a damn cop?

Again, I am not a feminist. If a child is hungry, uneducated and has had more unprotected sex than most of my friends (lol so inappropriate, i love it), does it matter if the poor thing is a boy or a girl. But then, the true story is that the child is most likely a girl. The weaker sex. Some great prophet once put her worth as being one-half of a man, although another great non-fictional novel said it only took one male rib to create her. Oh and in some countries, she might no longer have a clitoris.

The modern civilization today recognizes the equality of women. Women can do anything today. At least they are allowed to. We hear of great real stories of women from sexist countries becoming cops and astronauts (some of them may be now dead) and army officers. So of course, women can do anything. But if she can do what men can, it makes for something totally inspirational.

So, successful women today are lawyers because they manage fine, valuing reasons over emotions. Successful women are engineers, computer scientists – machines, metal, ooooh gadgets, omg computer programs – they just fit in right there with their other favorite things like shoes, babies and Egyptian cotton. Women nowadays also don’t mind getting their hands dirty, they play rugby, football, ice hockey and even wrestle. Yeah women obviously love violent games and they don’t mind getting random bruises all over their bodies.

It is no surprise that the most respected, high paying jobs are dominated by men. C’mon, up until a few decades ago, women were trapped within the four walls of a kitchen, the black fabric of a burka or both. They weren’t fkn allowed to vote. The whole society is structured around maleness – look at politics, sports, marriage, laws, porn. Does a woman need to lose or mask her feminineness to come across as successful? In other words why police officer? Why not a nurse, or a chef or a even a damn seamstress. I know today’s society, which in fact was built on centuries of female suffrage, is programmed to not value these professions.  But what do women really value?

A Laugh, a Chuckle or May be Just a Smile

What makes a great book great? I believe that a touch of good humor in a book’s narrative goes a long way in doing this job. Any book without a good dose of humor, fails to keep the reader in its grips however strong the story is. The humor could be out-right, mild or subtle according the author’s and the narrator’s personality. It could be slapstick, sarcastic, witty or extremely sophisticated. A book without humor is a book I have to force myself to finish.

All great literature in my belief, besides having strong and cute characters and fascinating storylines, has a very good sense of humor in its narrative. From classics like To Kill a Mockingbird to fantasies like Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter; from Shakespeare to Arundhati Roy; Anne Frank and Mahatma Gandhi – Every great book that ever impressed me had its own kind of humor. It’s the lack of this crucial ingredient that Jane Austen and even Ayn Rand even with their thought provoking realism and philosophy failed to make my list of author’s to search for in the book aisles. Too drab, unfunny. Romantics like Charles Dickens on the other hand told sad tales with such innocent humor that lifted my heart and the corners of my lips. Gotta love something that makes you smile!